Christians are straight up FREAKS
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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