It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
