In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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