I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
