have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize