Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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