that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize