I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
