I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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