I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
