i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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