Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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