my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
