If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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