That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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