She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and i looked up. we had an audience...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
