imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
