That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Did I show you my penis last night?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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