There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
