actually, I'm a sock model
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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