so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
