Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize