The maid of honor just puked.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
