You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
