hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
