he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
