i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
