The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize