Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
