New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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