help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
