I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You smell like stripper and shame
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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