They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
