So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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