woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
