Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
