Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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