I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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