Pappa wants mamma naked
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
