Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
