Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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