I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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