Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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