I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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