Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
