do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
