Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
