that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize