trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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