im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
