If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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