Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
