Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
