I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
