whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
