do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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