time to smoke my breakfast
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
