i think i have herpe
just one?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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