You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
