Four minutes until I can fart!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
