I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got her a Nickelback box set.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
