we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
