I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
